Real Stories of Teen Dating Abuse
Teen dating abuse. I wouldn't believe this was a thing if it hadn't happened to me. Luckily I got out of the situation before it became a bigger issue. Actually, I was an adult by the time I found out this was a common occurrence. My high school boyfriend was abusive and manipulative. It started with him always pointing out the fact that my family situation was slightly better than his. Always guilt trips to get his way. Then it came to the point where he started being controlling. The guilt trips didn't work as much so he tried to intimidate me. A friend of mine passed by as he had me boxed into a stairwell between classes. I smiled to let my friend know I was ok. He threw my books at me in response. I should have ended things then but I didn't. Months later he pushed me when I wouldn't allow him to publically grope me at a party because everyone else was doing it. We were in the middle of an argument so I let him finish his statement. Afterwards I told him if he ever touched me like that again I would kill him with my bare hands. I was 16 and 112lbs soaking wet. He was more than twice my size but I suppose somehow he realized I was not the one. Several more months went by before we actually broke up. He broke up with me seemingly for no reason but I suppose it was because he couldn't manipulate me any longer. People always wonder why someone would stay in an abusive relationship when they haven't experienced one. Looking back I still couldn't really tell you. We were not married. There was no child involved. I was smart enough to realize the relationship was not healthy and wasn't going anywhere. Perhaps I felt that we had been together so long there wasn't a good reason to break up. I thought I was going to marry this person. Whatever the case may be, thank God I got out. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't. I hope more people, men and women alike, share their stories. Teens have a way of feeling like they're the only person in the world going through a situation at any given time. I hope this message reaches them to let them know they are not alone and they can get help.
When I was in high school, I entered into my first "situationship". He was two years my senior and never really in school, but still quite popular. He acted like my boyfriend when we were together. I was "his" but, he definitely wasn't all mine. When we were alone together, the focus was all on me. He was sweet and protective. For some reason, I felt as if he knew I wanted a protector.
You see, before I entered high school I was nearly unnoticed. I had friends, but the boys didn't notice me. Our situationship was the perfect storm for the end result. Possessive and jealous during the relationship. And when it was over (for me at least), he threatened to kill me and my new boyfriend on several occasions. Yes, I had the audacity to move on. He was negligent and manipulative. He was so verbally abusive on our phone calls that I was actually scared to hang up the phone. Imagine that; me being afraid of someone who is speaking to me on the phone from jail. He had that kind of hold on me. For the record, he never put his hands on me and that is the reason I’m sharing this story. It wasn’t about physical abuse as that’s the kind we always think of when you hear the word abuse. This was verbal and psychological abuse. I don’t even think he ever thought about hitting me. But when I look back on all of the women he had on his leash, we were all much smaller than him. I can only speculate what that was about.
Prior to our “breakup”, I remember one occasion where he brandished a gun in front of me. He didn’t threaten to shoot me with it, but he did point it in my direction. I laughed, but I was afraid. Thinking back, there are so many things that I should not have accepted, and had I spoken openly with my parents about them, I would’ve had more confidence in myself to walk away.
The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/types-of-abuse/
An Earthly Embrace